


Gravity

by Loveislove87



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:16:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26804248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loveislove87/pseuds/Loveislove87
Summary: Michael finds out about Alex's break up but is surprised by what he discovers.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 7
Kudos: 82





	Gravity

Six weeks.

Six weeks since Forrest had left Alex.

Five weeks since Valenti and Greg found out and practically moved into Alex’s place.

Four weeks since he and Isobel accidentally found out when Greg showed up for his too large for one person takeout order at the Crashdown. Isobel had happily flirted it out of Greg, making the man flush a youthful red.

Three weeks since he showed up at Alex’s door, beers in hand, shaking in fury when Valenti refused to let him in.

Two weeks since Greg, Valenti and Maria had convinced Alex to make an appearance at the Pony. Michael kept his distance, but his eyes never drifted for more than a moment. Alex looked small; defeated it a way Michael had never seen. He went home that night and trashed the airstream, overwhelmed with guilt and envy and regret. He thankfully passed out before making the inevitable late-night drunk phone call.

One week since Alex sang on stage again. Michael hid at the bar, jealousy pacing his gut as he watched his friends, Alex’s friends, sit together and smile together and cheer for Alex together. Something told Michael he wasn’t welcome.

Tonight, Alex sang again, this time, without a small party in the crowd. Maria was working the bar and Michael was keeping his usual stool warm, but the others had been pulled in other directions for the evening.

He listened closely as Alex sang lyrics to a song he distantly recognized. Something made his stomach churn and his heart pick up its pace. He held tightly to his bottle as he stared at Alex; his eyes closed, head tilted to the side, mouth just a breath away from the microphone, fingers moving gently but surely over the keys. Michael tried swallowing down the lump in his throat, taking a swig of his beer when it just didn’t seem to budge.

“Have you spoken to him yet?”

Michael looked into concerned brown eyes. He and Maria hadn’t gotten back to the comfort they’d had before they dated, the friendship that meant so much to him, but he appreciated her effort. He turned back toward the stage, shaking his head, unable to find the words.

“Dunno what you’re waiting for, Guerin.”

The echo of her words sat heavily in his chest as he tried letting Alex’s voice take him away. He’d found himself dreaming lately of a different life. Of a bed that was soft and seemingly never ending, with smooth, white sheets that felt so gentle covering his skin. Of tanned skin, scarred and perfect, wrapped around his own. Of dark hair, darker eyes. Of callused fingers and strong hands. Michael found himself drifting when Alex’s voice brought him back to reality.

_I live here on my knees as I try to make you see_

_That you’re everything I think I need here on the ground_

_But you’re neither friend nor foe though I can’t seem to let you go_

_The one thing I still know is that you’re keeping me down_

Michael finished his drink, threw a twenty on the counter, determined to pay off his probable four-figure debt, and headed out into the cool, desert night.

About twenty minutes later, a familiar body walked through the door, pulling on a worn, leather coat. Michael stood straight and took a deep breath.

“Hey.”

Alex nodded but averted his eyes. “Hey.”

Michael adjusted his hat, feeling out of his element, a feeling so unfamiliar in the presence of Alex. “You sounded great. Better every time.”

A small smile crossed Alex’s face as he tucked his hands into his pockets, shoulders closing in on his ears. “Thanks.”

Neither man said anything for a bit, the sound of passing cars and crickets keeping them company. Eventually, Alex cleared his throat and nodded to his Jeep. “I’ve gotta get going. I’m working in the morning.”

“Oh, yeah,” Michael shifted out of the way of the driver’s door. He watched as Alex climbed up, watched his hand on the wheel, the curve of his waist, the fall of his hair.

“Listen, Alex,” Michael said too loud. Alex paused with his hand on the door, ready to pull it shut. “Fuck Forrest, okay? He’s an idiot. I don’t know what he was thinking- “

“Shut up, Guerin.” Michael closed his mouth and stared as a cloud crossed Alex’s soft features. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Sorry. I just meant- “

“I know what you meant.” Alex’s knuckles were white as he squeezed the steering wheel, empty eyes staring through the windshield.

“I was happy.” His voice was so quiet Michael took a chance by moving a step closer to make sure he missed nothing. “I didn’t love him, knew I couldn’t, but I was happy.” A shy, crooked smile appeared, and Michael was rocked with a wave of jealousy. “But I just couldn’t let you go.”

The hope that rose and bloomed in Michael’s chest was bright and warm. He moved closer and waited, willing Alex to let him in, to let him try again.

“Forrest said he felt like he was competing with a ghost he could never beat. I guess I talked about you a lot,” Alex rested his forehead against the back of his hands, eyes shutting. “Comparisons I didn’t know I was making, stories I shared. He told me I even said your name in my sleep sometimes.”

Michael nodded his head even though Alex’s attention was elsewhere. Slowly, he took off his hat, taking another step forward.

“When I look at you, I see Maria.”

The bile climbed into Michael’s throat as he stood, frozen and barely breathing.

“I didn’t think I was a jealous person; I haven’t been before. But I look at you now and I see the two of you together. The laughs you shared. Comfort you gave. Kissing and sex and…” Michael watched as Alex looked up at one of the tall stadium lights in the parking lot. His eyes were wet, and Alex’s voice broke. “You loved her.”

Alex turned and Michael ached. Everything had been so complicated, so horrible a year ago, and he made what he thought was the right choice at the time. But every day since he’d been shown how wrong he’d been.

The laugh that escaped Alex’s lips was cold and empty. “Forrest didn’t want to be with me because I’m still in love with you. But I don’t want to be with you because you remind me of how I’m never the first choice.”

A tear slid down Alex’s cheek as Michael felt his eyes well and burn. “I don’t know how to get over that.”

“Alex, that’s not- “

“Goodnight, Guerin.”

Michael stood in the rising dust as Alex drove away, watching the lights get smaller and smaller.

Sometimes the world ends with a whimper.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
